Let’s talk about two companies that you will have heard of but I’m not going to name: Company A has a culture that it is famous for and that everybody loves. Company B has a culture that everybody has slammed for ages. One of these companies is performing far, far better than the other.

We hear a lot about toxicity in startup land. We hear about the fabled ‘996’ work week and engineers sleeping in tents. There is a startup work ethic that involves long hours and total focus and dedication to the higher power (ARR).

It was always like that: Microsoft, Amazon and IBM were not companies built in 40 hours a week by regular bosses who valued their work-life balance. What changed is that around a decade ago, working at a startup was suddenly seen as a cushy job. It was all open-plan offices and after-work drinks and perks and VC cash was pouring in.

It suddenly became very cool to be in a startup, and I think that was at odds with the reality of what it actually takes to build one. To build a business from scratch is very difficult. There are tradeoffs: employees forego cash compensation for equity that might pay off — and might pay off big — but equally might not.

Others trade time: startup life is not a 9-5, and we need to be honest about it. If you want to be home at 5pm for your kids, your hobbies or your dog, startup life might not be for you. I’m not going to be an apologist for genuinely toxic workplaces: discrimination and harassment are never ok.

I don't think people should be getting the company logo tattooed on their ass. A workplace isn’t a family, and it shouldn’t be a cult either. What I am saying is that there has been a blurring of the lines of what is toxic and what is hard work — and the latter is part of startup life.