A guest essay compares Donald Trump’s White House to a high school clique, likening his inner circle to the "mean girls" and jocks of teenage social hierarchies. The author draws parallels between the president's staff—Pete Hegseth, Natalie Harp, Mike Johnson, and others—and a group of sycophants focused on pleasing the leader rather than governing effectively. Cabinet members are described as emulating Trump's preferences, from wearing matching $145 Florsheim Oxfords to consuming a "living diet" of meat and sauerkraut.

The essay argues that this dynamic, rooted in flattery and fear, undermines policy-making and mirrors the social mechanics of a popular girls' clique. Unlike previous administrations, where bureaucratic tension slowed bad decisions, Trump's cabinet reportedly prioritizes loyalty over competence, leading to a government that "runs like it" was picked for style rather than substance.