I don’t know about you, but I greatly resent having to be a biological organism and subject to all the poor engineering and design decisions that entails. A recent one is often wondering, why is the entire body such garbage except for the liver? Take the kidneys. Once you reach adulthood, they start to slowly decay. You can damage them through not-obviously-dangerous stuff like taking too much vitamin D or taking ibuprofen while dehydrated. Significant damage typically leads to scarring and a permanent reduction in function. Or take the gums. If you brush too hard or don’t floss enough, they may retreat down your teeth, never to return.

But the liver. My friends, the liver! If it’s injured, it will usually heal without scars. As you age, it typically maintains near full strength. You can give half of your liver to someone else and it will regrow to full size and function in a few months. I’d like to find whoever designed the liver and have them make me a full body. Except here’s a theory: It’s good that most of the body is fragile crap. It would be better if some parts of the body were more fragile.

Menopause is almost unknown outside of humans. Even the other great apes remain fertile for almost their entire lives. The only known exceptions are (1) killer whales, (2) pilot whales, (3) beluga whales, (4) false killer whales, (5) narwhals, and (6) one specific population of chimpanzees in Uganda. If your leg gets chopped off, that’s it, no more leg. But if you chop off the leg of a salamander it grows a new leg. The ends of your chromosomes have a little repetitive sequence called a telomere. After dividing 50-70 times, the telomeres are gone, and the cells stop dividing and then slowly stop working.

If you need a new kidney, your body will respond by trying to kill it, meaning you have to take horrible immunosuppressants for the rest of your life. There’s a 30% chance the kidney will be rejected within 10 years. Some day, your immune system may decide to attack your pancreas. After you reach adulthood, neurons don’t divide. All cells build up various “junk” over time. Your flesh needs blood, which your body delivers through blood vessels. Over time, these can get clogged with plaque.