Conflict resolution facilitator Priya Parker argues in her new book "The Art of Fighting" that we need more intentional conflict, not less. A follow-up to "The Art of Gathering," the book explores how thoughtful disagreement can deepen connection. Parker explains that many groups oscillate between "unhealthy peace" — conflict avoidance — and destructive escalation. She shares a personal story: her conflict-averse parents never fought, yet divorced, teaching her that avoidance leads to loss. "When we don't have meaningful conversations, the relationship can end," she says.

In workplaces, the most common issue is "toxic politeness" — teams too polite to address critical problems like product flaws or customer dissatisfaction. Parker helps organizations become "conflict-competent" by introducing practices like "hot takes" parties to normalize "healthy heat." She insists we have too little constructive conflict, not too much, and that "healthy heat" sits at the center of all meaningful relationships. Without skills to engage in productive fights, communities and families fracture.