From SEA SLUT II to BILBOAT BAGGINS, a deep dive into AIS vessel data reveals 50,000 boat names packed with nautical puns, dirty jokes, and Tolkien references. The names come from NOAA’s Marine Cadastre “broadcast points” dataset, which collects Automatic Identification System (AIS) transmissions from vessels over 65 feet and from many recreational boats that choose to broadcast anyway.

The catalog is a kaleidoscope of clever twists—TV and movie nods, legal jargon, medical terms, and high‑brow literature. Sailors christen their craft as LIQUID ASSET S, GANDALF, or SEA SLUT II, while lawyers and doctors use LAW DAWG or SPIKE AND WAVE. The variety shows owners’ personalities and professions.

In 2018, roughly 12% of U.S. households—about 14.5 million—owned or co‑owned a recreational boat, according to a Coast Guard survey. Of those, 82.9% were white, 0.8% Black or African American. Owning a vessel can cost $15,000–$40,000 a year, which explains the flashy, wealth‑signaling names.

I processed 17 years of NOAA data (≈300 GB per year) with a Python notebook and Claude Code to classify the names and build an interactive browser. The dataset is publicly available, and the project showcases how personal expression surfaces in government records.