A reader writes that their boss and colleagues have forgotten their birthday for three consecutive years, despite the reader consistently celebrating everyone else’s milestones. The columnist advises that while the oversight is hurtful, it may reflect a broader issue with setting expectations. Co-workers are not obligated to acknowledge birthdays or work anniversaries.

The columnist suggests the reader stop tracking others’ personal events and focus on professional boundaries. Going to HR is discouraged, as it may appear excessive. Instead, the reader should celebrate with friends and family, not colleagues.

The article also addresses a separate query about a nit-picking boss and male peers who underperform without consequence, but the response is cut off.