At 38, the author finds themselves unable to work consistently due to disability, leading to a profound sense of shame and economic precarity. This experience highlights how deeply Western culture, influenced by the Protestant work ethic, equates self-worth with productivity and economic contribution.

The author notes that societal narratives, self-help culture, and even wellness trends often reinforce the idea that the ideal person is tireless and endlessly productive. When chronic illness or disability strikes, this ideology leads to a feeling of personal moral failure, as the body's inability to keep pace with capitalist demands is internalized as a fundamental flaw.

This inability to work consistently not only strips individuals of income but also of social legitimacy. The author reflects on the struggle of navigating systems designed around scarcity and suspicion, where disability benefits are often insufficient for survival, creating a "benefits cliff." Capitalism's demand for consistency clashes with the unpredictable nature of chronic illness, and invisible disabilities often face skepticism. Ultimately, the author grapples with the internalized ableism that questions their worth beyond economic output, emphasizing the need to disentangle one's nervous system from this pervasive ideology.