The author traces a decline from enthusiastic intern to two firings, citing a pattern of poor communication—starting tasks without discussion, slow delivery, and quality issues that eroded trust. Self-blame eventually gave way to a severe depression diagnosis; the author now takes fluoxetine and oxazepam, lives on benefits, and uses LLMs to manage workload, though acknowledging they encourage sloppier code. Gratitude is expressed for the GP, PAPC, friends, and family who provided support.

Communication emerges as the central lesson: with colleagues, loved ones, and specialists. Posting raw thoughts on HN yielded mixed reactions but reinforced the need to speak openly. The author sets concrete goals for 2027: eliminate careless mistakes, finish tasks completely, understand motivation loss, and build work discipline to regain stability and pride in delivered work.